Article » Natural and Logical Consequences
Adapted from The Parent Report Radio Show.
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Natural and Logical Consequences
Tempted to bribe or punish your child for his behavior? You may want to think again, because neither have long term impact on children’s behavior.
Have you ever been tempted to bribe your child into behaving well? Perhaps it’s a candy or small toy that is promised for good behavior at the supermarket. As tempting as it is to bribe our children, it’s generally ineffectual and most experts feel that just as there is little to be gained from punishing bad behavior, the same holds true for rewarding good behavior. Director of the Parent Education and Resource Center, Sara Dimerman feels neither rewarding nor bribing does little to teach a child self-discipline. "If parents are always applying rewards and punishments, either taking away a privilege or giving a bribe in order to get the child to do something, then children look to the parents for rewards for doing something. They (the children) also become very angry and revengeful whenever anything is taken away from them."
So rather then rewards, bribes or punishment, natural consequences can be very effective. "For example”, says Dimerman, "if a child insists on going outside on a cool day without his coat let him. He would quickly learn that he needs a coat in order to stay warm. In this case the natural consequence isn't life threatening and it avoids power struggles between parent and child. The natural consequence is in essence the teacher.”
However Dimerman adds that there are times when a natural consequence doesn't work and a parent needs to step in with a logical consequence. "If a child were to run across a busy street, you couldn't allow the natural consequence of being hit by a car happen. Instead a parent would apply logical consequences, telling the child that because they broke a rule and played near the street they would then have to play in the house."
Natural and logical consequences can be far better teachers for our children then lectures, punishments or unexplained rules. It empowers children to really understand how their behavior and choices impact others, themselves and the world around them.
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This article appears in the follwing categories:
Preschool
Limit Setting
Comments (9)
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tyler valentine
2011-05-02 3:21 pm Permalink
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getting notes home from schoolu cant always be nice to your children. unfortunatly some kids need to unished to the extream in order to understand what he/she is doing wrong. and sometimes showing a chiled what might happon in the future will have a bigger affect then the things that will happon tomarrow.
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Corey
2007-09-06 8:26 pm Permalink
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getting notes home from schoolMy 4 year old keeps getting bad notes home from Pre-K and from the school bus. I've tried spanking, and it's not working, and there's nothing to really ground him from, except the TV, but I just don't feel that it's punishment enough. Any ideas???
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Amy
2007-07-23 3:42 pm Permalink
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Re: grades.As a teacher, I know that the most logical consequence parents can enforce for late work is loss of privileges at home. Since they are doing poorly in school, it is logical they need more time set aside for homework at home. Another idea would be to have the child get a planner initialed daily by her teachers stating that she turned in her homework. Your daughter won't like it, which should hopefully encourage her to shape up faster. When she... View More
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Cheryl
2007-04-14 3:44 pm Permalink
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At a loss for a natural consequenceI need my 2.5 yr old to listen better. He doesn't listen to his swim instructor or his nursery school teachers. And there isn't necessarily a logical natural consequence, other than the fact that he's missing out on something fun. But that consequence does't seem to affect him.
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ellen
2005-09-08 4:20 pm Permalink
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grades.following this line of thinking. The natural consequence for a bad grade from handing in homework late would be to allow the student to have a bad grade. But it seems to me that there should be a sterner consequence since this can affect the college choices and scholarships as they get older. What are your suggestions. My child was an A student before junior high an she is handing in her assignment late resulting in 50% grades for each... View More
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Wendy Tibbets
2005-02-01 8:45 pm Permalink
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Re: punishment vs. disciplineThey are not the same. Punishment is a consequence to making bad choices, whether it be brought about naturally or by adult guardians. Discipline is teaching a child right from wrong. There are various ways to discipline a child. When I think of discipline I think of disciple. When you disciple someone you are teaching them. Such as when Jesus taught his disciples. I believe the best way to discipline a child is through constructive teachings that... View More
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Ili Coloma
2004-04-10 3:19 pm Permalink
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Natural @ Logical ConsequencesFor me as an Early Childhood teacher, this works fine. Is very interesting to watch a child who has to opt taking the responsability of his choice. (choices given by adults) I am looking for a book specialized in this matter "for teachers of Early Childhood". I work in Peru, South America and it will be very helpful for me and my team.
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SAJenkins
2003-10-08 7:52 pm Permalink
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Re: punishment vs. disciplineThere is a big difference between studying early childhood education and actually experiencing raising a strong-willed and challenging child. Using the word "guidance" as opposed to the word "discipline" will not matter to the child. You can guide a child in one direction, but natural curiosity and the child's need to test their boundaries will always challenge the guidance and the child will eventually go their own way. Guidance... View More
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S. Richardson
2002-04-08 9:46 pm Permalink
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punishment vs. disciplineI am studying early childhood education and am about 9 credit hours from graduating. It is really better to use guidance with young children rather than punishment or "discipline." Discipline is such a harsh word and it makes it sound like the parents are rulers and the children don't benifit. Reality is that we should use guidance with our young children to show that we love them even when they have to follow the "rules"