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Over-protective Parenting |
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Having trouble loosening the reigns? In the long run, being over-protective could do your child more harm than good.
From the moment the umbilical cord is cut, children begin those first steps towards independence. While most parents would agree that they want to see their children grow into well adjusted and self-sufficient adults, just as many would admit that letting go is hard to do. Barbara Burrill of Positive Parenting believes the reason for this is because it leaves parents with a sense of loss. "There's no more pleasing love than that of a preschooler who relies so much on the security of the home for his own feelings of safety. As they grow up, bit-by-bit they relinquish that and bit-by-bit parents feel a sense of loss. The whole process of growing up is kids pushing to be let go and parents struggling to determine when is it right to let them go."
If you're having a great deal of difficulty in letting your child become more independent, you may want to ask yourself if you're being over-protective. Parenting instructor Mary Gordon says "a good gauge of knowing if you're being over-protective or being fair is by asking yourself what are the other kids doing, how are they handling it, is my child like the other children or not? If my child isn't like the others, how can I help my child to be ready to do things the other children are doing? We don't do our children a favor by holding them back if they are ready. We do them a favor to make them ready."
Gordon adds "sometimes you can get a good balance of how you're assessing things by talking to the child's teacher and finding out what kinds of freedoms others have or that the teacher sees as appropriate. This will give you a range of what is typically expected behavior of that age group. Over-riding this is the child's temperament. For example a child with a nervous temperament may not be ready to do something for a year after the child's age mates are ready."
Letting go is hard to do. But helping our children find independence in an age appropriate manner will, in the long run, help them grow into independent adults just as nature intended.
Adapted from The Parent Report Radio Show. Any advice or information contained herein should never be a substitute for professional and/or medical advice, diagnosis and treatment. For more information please review Terms of Service.
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| Subject |
Name |
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| Re: over protective. wpw! |
J |
05:40 Oct 01 |
| over protective. wpw! |
Danielle |
05:54 Aug 25 |
| Re: Overprotective mother |
bri |
12:01 Jul 27 |
| Re: my parents won't let me go to.. |
jordan |
12:25 Apr 28 |
| I was sheltered...now I regret my.. |
Laurie |
02:59 Sep 05 |
| Re: I FEEL U MY LIFE IS LIKE PRIS.. |
thewayitis1006@t.. |
09:35 Aug 24 |
| Re: Overprotective mother |
kat |
08:15 May 06 |
| Re: So.....squashed |
Eric |
06:14 Feb 11 |
| Overprotective mother |
Diane |
06:00 Feb 04 |
| I FEEL U MY LIFE IS LIKE PRISON |
cecilia |
01:26 Jan 30 |
| Re: Strict, Over-protective, CRaz.. |
Reba |
04:48 Dec 26 |
| Am I overprotective???? |
Jan |
05:59 Aug 29 |
| Re: Strict, Over-protective, CRaz.. |
becca |
11:16 May 03 |
| Re: over protective parents |
Kelli |
07:13 Apr 04 |
| Re: over protective parents |
janay |
06:54 Mar 30 |
| SINGLE MOM MYSELF 2 |
Jenn |
12:56 Feb 02 |
| SINGLE MOM MYSELF...PARENTS OVER .. |
Jenny |
12:55 Feb 02 |
| Re: over protective parents |
Jerrica Haynes |
07:29 Jan 26 |
| Re: Strict, Over-protective, CRaz.. |
Jo-Sette |
07:29 Sep 14 |
| Re: protective parents suk!!! |
Jo-Sette |
07:25 Sep 14 |
| Re: help -listen to this |
Jo-Sette |
07:24 Sep 14 |
| Re: question never anwsered about.. |
Jo-Sette |
07:18 Sep 14 |
| Re: This Is what You Should Do |
Jo-Sette |
07:15 Sep 14 |
| Re: help |
Jo-Sette |
07:12 Sep 14 |
| Re: protective parents suk!!!-Ung.. |
Jo-Sette |
07:09 Sep 14 |
| Re: OVER PUNISHMENT |
Jo-Sette |
07:07 Sep 14 |
| Re: depressed |
Jo-Sette |
07:01 Sep 14 |
| Re: OVER PUNISHMENT |
Jo-Sette |
06:58 Sep 14 |
| Re: My Girlfriend's parents are w.. |
Jo-Sette |
06:56 Sep 14 |
| Re: no dating until 18 |
Jo-Sette |
06:52 Sep 14 |
| Re: Strict, Over-protective, CRaz.. |
Jo-Sette |
06:50 Sep 14 |
| Re: HELP ME PLEASE!! |
Jo-Sette |
06:41 Sep 14 |
| Re: Strict, Over-protective, CRaz.. |
Jo-Sette |
06:37 Sep 14 |
| Re: Strict, Over-protective, CRaz.. |
Avi |
10:55 Sep 01 |
| Re: protective parents suk!!! |
karina |
08:31 Aug 22 |
| help -listen to this |
Trista Nowak |
03:16 Aug 17 |
| Re: Over protective Parents |
Locked Up!!!!! |
05:45 Jul 18 |
| Re: help |
Locked Up!!! |
05:41 Jul 18 |
| Re: OVER PUNISHMENT |
Locked Up!!! |
05:33 Jul 18 |
| A Cry For HELP!!!!!! |
Locked Up!!!!! |
03:45 Jul 18 |
| Re: Over - Protective , Over - Be.. |
Stephanie |
06:10 Jun 12 |
| Re: singel mother= Over protective |
Stephanie |
06:03 Jun 12 |
| Re: singel mother= Over protective |
srb |
05:07 Jun 06 |
| question never anwsered about my .. |
Trista Nowak |
10:22 May 10 |
| So.....squashed |
Kath |
02:27 Apr 04 |
| Re: HELP ME PLEASE!! (for Whitney) |
Ur very lucky |
02:24 Apr 04 |
| Re: over protective parents |
GR |
02:20 Apr 04 |
| Re: Over - Protective , Over - Be.. |
Nicki |
02:48 Mar 16 |
| This Is what You Should Do |
Alice |
12:46 Mar 06 |
| Re: help |
Munirah |
12:10 Mar 06 |
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