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Resources > Teen > Limit Setting > Over-protective Parenting

 

Over-protective Parenting

  


Over-protective Parenting Having trouble loosening the reigns? In the long run, being over-protective could do your child more harm than good.

From the moment the umbilical cord is cut, children begin those first steps towards independence. While most parents would agree that they want to see their children grow into well adjusted and self-sufficient adults, just as many would admit that letting go is hard to do. Barbara Burrill of Positive Parenting believes the reason for this is because it leaves parents with a sense of loss. "There's no more pleasing love than that of a preschooler who relies so much on the security of the home for his own feelings of safety. As they grow up, bit-by-bit they relinquish that and bit-by-bit parents feel a sense of loss. The whole process of growing up is kids pushing to be let go and parents struggling to determine when is it right to let them go."

If you're having a great deal of difficulty in letting your child become more independent, you may want to ask yourself if you're being over-protective. Parenting instructor Mary Gordon says "a good gauge of knowing if you're being over-protective or being fair is by asking yourself what are the other kids doing, how are they handling it, is my child like the other children or not? If my child isn't like the others, how can I help my child to be ready to do things the other children are doing? We don't do our children a favor by holding them back if they are ready. We do them a favor to make them ready."

Gordon adds "sometimes you can get a good balance of how you're assessing things by talking to the child's teacher and finding out what kinds of freedoms others have or that the teacher sees as appropriate. This will give you a range of what is typically expected behavior of that age group. Over-riding this is the child's temperament. For example a child with a nervous temperament may not be ready to do something for a year after the child's age mates are ready."

Letting go is hard to do. But helping our children find independence in an age appropriate manner will, in the long run, help them grow into independent adults just as nature intended.


 
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Re: Overprotective mother

kat

08:15 May 06

Re: So.....squashed

Eric

06:14 Feb 11

Overprotective mother

Diane

06:00 Feb 04

I FEEL U MY LIFE IS LIKE PRISON

cecilia

01:26 Jan 30

Re: Strict, Over-protective, CRaz..

Reba

04:48 Dec 26

Am I overprotective????

Jan

05:59 Aug 29

Re: Strict, Over-protective, CRaz..

becca

11:16 May 03

Re: over protective parents

Kelli

07:13 Apr 04

Re: over protective parents

janay

06:54 Mar 30

SINGLE MOM MYSELF 2

Jenn

12:56 Feb 02

SINGLE MOM MYSELF...PARENTS OVER ..

Jenny

12:55 Feb 02

Re: over protective parents

Jerrica Haynes

07:29 Jan 26

Re: Strict, Over-protective, CRaz..

Jo-Sette

07:29 Sep 14

Re: protective parents suk!!!

Jo-Sette

07:25 Sep 14

Re: help -listen to this

Jo-Sette

07:24 Sep 14

Re: question never anwsered about..

Jo-Sette

07:18 Sep 14

Re: This Is what You Should Do

Jo-Sette

07:15 Sep 14

Re: help

Jo-Sette

07:12 Sep 14

Re: protective parents suk!!!-Ung..

Jo-Sette

07:09 Sep 14

Re: OVER PUNISHMENT

Jo-Sette

07:07 Sep 14

Re: depressed

Jo-Sette

07:01 Sep 14

Re: OVER PUNISHMENT

Jo-Sette

06:58 Sep 14

Re: My Girlfriend's parents are w..

Jo-Sette

06:56 Sep 14

Re: no dating until 18

Jo-Sette

06:52 Sep 14

Re: Strict, Over-protective, CRaz..

Jo-Sette

06:50 Sep 14

Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!

Jo-Sette

06:41 Sep 14

Re: Strict, Over-protective, CRaz..

Jo-Sette

06:37 Sep 14

Re: Strict, Over-protective, CRaz..

Avi

10:55 Sep 01

Re: protective parents suk!!!

karina

08:31 Aug 22

help -listen to this

Trista Nowak

03:16 Aug 17

Re: Over protective Parents

Locked Up!!!!!

05:45 Jul 18

Re: help

Locked Up!!!

05:41 Jul 18

Re: OVER PUNISHMENT

Locked Up!!!

05:33 Jul 18

A Cry For HELP!!!!!!

Locked Up!!!!!

03:45 Jul 18

Re: Over - Protective , Over - Be..

Stephanie

06:10 Jun 12

Re: singel mother= Over protective

Stephanie

06:03 Jun 12

Re: singel mother= Over protective

srb

05:07 Jun 06

question never anwsered about my ..

Trista Nowak

10:22 May 10

So.....squashed

Kath

02:27 Apr 04

Re: HELP ME PLEASE!! (for Whitney)

Ur very lucky

02:24 Apr 04

Re: over protective parents

GR

02:20 Apr 04

Re: Over - Protective , Over - Be..

Nicki

02:48 Mar 16

This Is what You Should Do

Alice

12:46 Mar 06

Re: help

Munirah

12:10 Mar 06

Re: my parents are overprotecting

locked in

08:03 Feb 03

Re: help

dareone

08:42 Jan 13

protective parents suk!!!

Katelyn

10:53 Jan 10

my parents won't let me go to my ..

Jordan

07:08 Jan 06

Re: My Girlfriend's parents are w..

kara

06:04 Dec 19

Re: its a flippin football game

Paul

07:49 Oct 13



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